It’s Rude to Treat God Like Santa

Here’s why,

I don’t know about you but it’s pretty easy for me to make a list in my mind of things that I would like and “send it up” to God. This is generally the nature of my prayers, since I’m a ‘list person’. Even if you’re not a ‘list person’ though, I bet you sometimes do the same:

Dear God,

1) Please do this

2) Please change that

3) Please cause Janine, my least favourite co-worker, to choke on her banana this morning

4) I want more money

5) I want more happiness

6) I want more candy

7) A Ferrari would be nice

8) A McLaren F1 is my second choice

9) Please make Janine go mute

10) I will settle for a new Mazda 3

11) Please God, for the love of yourself, don’t let these maniac drivers on the road ram me into a tree. They all drive like idiots. Maybe it’s the snow… Okay it’s probably not the snow, they look like idiots too. Everyone is an idiot. God, why did you make a whole heaping world of idiots?

Lists, right? Admit it. You do it too.

But here’s the thing, as handy-dandy as lists are to write for ourselves to remember things, they seem to sometimes get in the way of our relationship with God.

Feel free to try and disagree with me. But I think I’m right.

God seems to constantly be asking for a relationship. If he wanted us to whip up a list and submit it to him, we might as well call him Santa Clause and treat every day like Coca Cola’s version of Christmas. Because that’s basically what we’re doing. But all throughout the Bible God had conversations with his faithful ones, relationships that were so strong that certain human beings actually changed the course of the world by having a conversation with God that made God change his mind about things. That seems crazy, but it also seems so obvious; why wouldn’t God value our opinion enough to be swayed by it? He is asking for a relationship. Moses was constantly conversing with God, asking him to give the Israelites another chance even though they became rude ungrateful whiner babies on more than one occasion. God made the animals but then let Adam name them. And God’s relationship with many others throughout the Bible was the same as these. God wants to know how you feel, what you think and he wants to ‘talk it out’. He doesn’t want your Christmas list. Save that for the fat fraud in red. What he really wants is to know the real you, not what you want, and for you to know the real him. He wants us to listen and wait for him to respond. But maybe we’re too busy reciting our list, trying to make sure we tell him everything we want in the ten seconds we reserve for prayer. But the joke is on us. God already knows everything we want. In fact, he knows all the desires of our hearts.

Do we know the desires of his?

I’m SO guilty of getting caught up in my list. What will I tell God in the end if I see him in person for the first time and he says, “I told you the desire of my heart. I told you because I knew you could fulfil it.” And then I say, “Well you see…I really wanted this car…and then there was all of this drama at work…and then the dog crapped on the floor…and I really just needed to get it all sorted out.”

He also doesn’t want us to simply surrender all of our hopes, dreams and passions though either. He gave us those things for a reason. If he didn’t want us to have free will, to have passions, opinions, or gifts, he would have built himself robots – not humans. But he made us human for the sake of relationship. He says, “I know your dreams. Bring them to me and let’s discuss them”. He wants to give you the desires of your heart. He doesn’t want you to toss them out the window and then turn to him and say, “God, what am I supposed to do? I need direction! What am I supposed to do with my life?” I like to imagine him sitting in a lazy boy with a cup of coffee and pondering this. Then finally he leans forward, smirking a little, and says, “What do you want to do?”

All I’m saying is that I think God cares more about what we think than we realize. He will sit with you for hours and ‘hash it out’ until you can both come up with a solution to the problem, if that’s what you really want. But he wants to sort it out with you. It’s okay to let him help, because no offense but he’s better at this life stuff than you are. He has a gazillion more years of experience. And if we’re willing to build on that relationship, we will start to understand his heart. And that’s where the fun begins. Because you never know, he just might say, “Go to Jamaica and preach the gospel. Then go to Mexico and build homes for the homeless so that the people can see that I love them, and after that, go to South Africa and minister to orphans and teach about me in the schools. You, precious one, are going to live a life of adventure.”

Can you feel it? He’s speaking to you.

Kropf out.

What the crud are you doing? Stop that.

Today is…MEDIA HECKLING DAY!! Yaaaay! This is one of my favourite days of the year! Or week. Let’s start with a fun fact:

  • The media bombards the young girls’ minds. As time passes, it has been observed that the girls who are becoming weight conscious gets younger and younger—for instance, about 80% of nine-year-olds are on diets and that the number of eating disorder cases has been rising. (1)

First of all, this is gross. Second of all…this is gross. Did I mention how gross this is?

Mothers, fathers, protect your daughters. This world has chosen to go after them to make a buck.

My reasons for media-heckling today are closely related to what I’ve been seeing – and trust me I’ve been seeing a little too much if you know what I mean. So many of us are deeply insecure and it’s driving us into a downwards spiral that seems impossible to get out of. I’m talking in particular about the way we dress. The way we act. The way we see ourselves. What happened to all the ladies? Sometimes I feel like we’re inviting the men we meet to treat us like garbage because we’re not acting like ladies, thus giving them a reason to not view us as ladies.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m a stuff-the-wad-of-spaghetti-all-in-my-mouth-at-once kind of girl, and when people look at me they likely don’t think of a Stepford-wife. But I feel a little bummed about how many young girls I meet that struggle with depression, anxiety, low self esteem and worst of all, suicidal thoughts. Because of the deeply rooted lies that cause these issues; “I’m alone”, “I can’t do this because I’ll screw it up and people will get mad”, “I’m not as pretty/good/talented as others”, “This world would be better off without me…” we are trying to make up on the outside for how we feel on the inside. These tragic thoughts are leaking into our subconcious. And they don’t come from God. They break His heart.

I had to experience and deal with some of these things myself at one time, I think most of us do, but the truth is that if we believe these things then we’re believing a bunch of lies. The media lies. The devil loves to manipulate you with whatever lies you’ll believe. But God created you for a greater purpose – to thrive and inherit His kingdom. One of the devil’s most cunning plans to trash God’s world is this; Go after the girls.

Females are a force to be reckoned with. We do have the power to strike down the enemy’s plans. We are emotional beings who thrive on building each other up emotionally, as long as we aren’t believing lies. If I was Satan, I’d do it that way too. Why not target the ones who have the potential to take me down? And don’t get me wrong – there are lots of men who are fighting the same battles. But I’m talking specifically about girls that have a powerful destiny of striking down the enemy’s plans. Those are the girls I’ve been watching him go after, and likely for that reason. He wants us to believe little of ourselves so that we don’t pose a threat. So if you’re struggling, it’s likely because you have the power to be a real threat.

One of my all time faves when it comes to ancient leaders is David. Yes, he’s a dude, not a lady, but his story is deeply grafted into my heart. And I think the beginning of his legendary life of battles is the coolest – because it started with him slaying a giant as a boy. Some kid, with a rock, killed a giant (who may or may not have had superpowers…that’s theologically debateable) but this kid had God. And a rickety sling shot. But it was enough, because he didn’t believe the lies. The rest of the Israelites were shaking in terror, talking themselves down, believing that this giant would kill them, even after God had promised them victory. But David was all like, “What the crud are you doing? Stop that. You’re embarrassing yourselves.” Because Israel had forgotten about God’s truth and fallen prey to the lies. So David did what he had to do, and he killed the giant. Epic.

In ancient times they faced different kinds of monsters; demons who claimed to be gods, giants, ancient beasts like Leviathan, Behemoth, evil spirits, maybe even dinosaurs…(again, some of those are theologically debatable but each one fascinates me), but what I know for sure is that because of the times we live in, we’re forced to face monsters that come with this age. One of the biggest predators doesn’t come with waves of thunderous growls, it comes quietly and conquers in the silence of our homes, through our TV’s, Ads, mags and other forms of medium. But though it’s silent, it yells.

What I find the most heart-wrenching is looking at the girls my age or younger that have taken a hit from this modern day beast. We were never meant to be like the Israelites that were shaking in terror and insecure in their own abilities while Goliath was yelling. We were meant to be like David, who was unaffected by Goliath’s words. Well Goliath is yelling. Why are we listening?

The truth is that you have the power to force Goliath to topple over with nothing more than a pebble. And that’s not because the pebble comes from a magical unicorn. It’s because the Lord God, the King of Kings, lives inside of you. You have the power to tell the liars to shut up, and to stop yourself from listening. But you need to make the choice to do it. Aren’t you tired of living under a haze? At what point do you stop being the victim and choose to be the bold one? Are you the Israelites or are you David? No, you can’t wait for your circumstances to change. Many have tried that. You’ll be waiting forever. You can’t wait for someone to come along and fix the problem for you either because as soon as they’re gone you’ll fall again. Time to wake up ladies. Time to grab your weapons and fight back against the monster. Truly, when you turn on it to strike, you’ll find that it’s a weakling.

Be set free. This is my prayer for you today. The Spirit of God is on the move. Get in on the action.

Peace out.

1. Facts About the Influence of Media on Young People. (2013). Retrieved from