There was an eerie whistle coming off the fields; its source was unknown. Only vacant emptiness hung over the green wheaties for miles. The sky was a dull grey, creeping over the landscape like it was its own life form. All seemed...ugh what is that horrendous smell? Manure season. That's what. What a wretched time … Continue reading Poop Happens. So grab a shovel and deal with it.
How do I explain this? Okay, sometimes I look at other people and I imagine their heads are like eggs. If you crack them open (non-violently of course) inside you will find egg whites and a yolk. This is normal. This is healthy. I feel like when God made me He jammed a tub of … Continue reading Enter the Maze
All I can hear, apart from a few bugs and birds making odd noises from somewhere I can't see, is the sound of moving water as it tumbles off the hot tub thingy and spills into the pool, making a "blub-blub-blub" sound. The weather called for thunderstorms today but I can only see clear blue … Continue reading Fear the Pirate Dragons
This will be a different kind of blog post today. I want to give a glimpse into the uncharted territory of a place that is constantly moving through wisps of colour and untamed adventures in lost worlds. This place haunts me at times, but amazes me at others. And though I can be looking straight … Continue reading Silence of the Pigs
When life is coming at you like a hoard of angry zombies, and you just feel like you're about to get eaten alive, lift your eyes up to Jesus. He's a heart-loving-zombie-crushing-pound-on-Satan's-face kinda guy. And in your worst moments, even when you feel disconnected or like you've lost your way, Jesus still knows you by … Continue reading Flesh Eaters.
Just saw a commercial for Cashmere toilet paper. I don’t know if any of you will remember this but Cashmere actually used to be called “Cottonelle”. But I guess cotton isn’t soft enough for some people wipe their arses with. Sometimes I wonder about the media and their constant portrayal of normalcy. *Sigh* Oh the … Continue reading Wipe your Butt with Silk